How to build a support circle for a parent in Nigeria

Why does an older parent in Nigeria need an explicit support circle?

Family is still the main source of day-to-day help for older people in Nigeria, but it is not always close by. A 2024 study of 827 adults aged 65 and over in Oyo State found that 65% of those who had difficulties had unmet needs with instrumental daily activities, such as shopping and managing medicines, and 59% with basic ones, such as bathing and dressing. Unmet needs were lower in larger families and where children or caregivers lived nearby (Geriatrics, January 2024).

An analysis of the 2024 Nigeria Demographic and Health Survey, published in July 2026, found that 11.0% of urban-dwelling Nigerians aged 60 and over live alone (BMC Geriatrics, 2026). Emigration adds to the distance: in an Afrobarometer survey published in December 2024, 56% of Nigerians said they had considered leaving the country, up from 36% in 2017. In a NOIPolls survey from July 2023, 27% of respondents said a family member had moved abroad in the previous five years.

When help is assumed rather than agreed, each person may expect someone else to go. Asking people directly, and telling each one what is expected of them, means everyone knows who is responsible for what.

Who usually makes up the circle, and what three questions should it answer?

Most circles draw on a brother, sister or cousin living in Nigeria, a neighbour your parent already trusts, a family friend, a member of their church or mosque who sees them each week, and a driver who knows the house and the route to the hospital.

Before asking anyone, answer three questions. Aim for two names against each, so the plan still works when one person is travelling or unwell.

• Who holds a key? At least one person nearby should be able to get into the house if your parent does not answer the door or the phone.
• Who can reach the house within 30 minutes? Check this at different times of day, because traffic can change journey times a great deal.
• Who would your parent actually call first? Ask them directly. It is often not the person the family would choose, and that person should be in the circle.

How do you ask someone to be part of it?

Ask each person individually, by phone or a personal WhatsApp message rather than a group, and say exactly what is involved. That makes it easier for them to say yes, or to say no honestly.

A short example: "Good evening Auntie, I hope you and the family are well. Since I moved to the UK I worry about Mum being on her own. Would you be willing to be one of the people we call if she needs help and cannot reach anyone? It would mainly mean having a spare key and checking on her if she does not answer her phone. I will send you her doctor's details and my number. Thank you."

What should every circle member have?

• Your phone and WhatsApp number, with the time difference noted
• The numbers of the other people in the circle
• The name, clinic and phone number of your parent's doctor
• A one-page health record: conditions, current medicines and doses, allergies, blood group if known, and next of kin
• The nearest hospital with an emergency department, its address and the quickest route there
• The emergency numbers below

Which emergency numbers work in Lagos and the rest of Nigeria?

In Lagos, 767 and 112 are toll-free emergency lines answered by the Lagos State Command and Control Centre, which dispatches the Lagos State Emergency Management Agency (LASEMA), the Lagos State Ambulance Service, the Fire and Rescue Service and the Rapid Response Squad. The Lagos State Government restated both numbers in February 2026.

Nationally, the National Economic Council approved 112 as Nigeria's single toll-free emergency number in April 2026. In September 2026 a federal committee was still finalising how it will run, so outside Lagos, confirm locally which number reaches help in your parent's state. In every state, keep the direct number of the nearest hospital as well.

How do you keep the circle going, and what if nobody nearby can help?

Keep contact small and regular: a message every few weeks, a call on birthdays, a gift at Christmas, Easter or Eid, and thanks each time someone helps. If someone spends money on transport or fuel, repay it straight away. Tell everyone when something changes, such as a new medicine, a hospital stay or a new phone number.

Relying on one person carries risk. They may travel, fall ill, move or simply become tired of being the only one called. Spreading the jobs across two or more people protects both them and your parent.

If nobody nearby is available, look further out: your parent's old school or alumni network, a hometown or community association, the welfare group at their place of worship, or a paid visitor you can vet in person or by video. With Kinship Visits in Lagos, the named Kinkeeper becomes one more person in the circle, with a number your parent and the family can call.

Questions people ask

Related

• Help for an elderly parent when you live abroad
• Keeping one health record for a relative abroad
• When a relative is admitted to hospital in Nigeria
• Kinship Visits in Lagos