Is your parent in Nigeria lonely? Signs and what helps from abroad

Why does loneliness matter for an older parent's health?

Loneliness is the gap between the contact a person wants and the contact they have.

The World Health Organization's Commission on Social Connection reported in June 2025 that about 1 in 6 people worldwide are lonely, that loneliness is linked to more than 871,000 deaths a year, and that up to 1 in 3 older adults are socially isolated. It found that about 24% of people in low-income countries feel lonely, around twice the rate in high-income countries (11%). Published research links loneliness to:

• Blood pressure: in a 2010 study of 229 adults aged 50 to 68 in Chicago, published in Psychology and Aging, those who were lonelier at the start had larger rises in systolic blood pressure over the next four years.
• Depression: WHO reported in 2025 that lonely people are twice as likely to become depressed.
• Dementia: a 2024 meta-analysis in Nature Mental Health, pooling 21 long-term studies of more than 600,000 people, linked loneliness to a 31% higher risk of dementia.
• Earlier death: a 2015 review in Perspectives on Psychological Science linked loneliness to a 26% higher likelihood of death, social isolation to 29% and living alone to 32%.

What does research show about older people in Nigeria?

A study of 1,704 Nigerians aged 65 and over, followed from 2007 to 2009 and published in the International Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry in 2021, found that 18.8% of those who were not lonely at the start became lonely within two years. Depression, being unmarried and social isolation predicted who became lonely. Good social engagement predicted who stopped feeling lonely.

In a 2020 study of 1,099 retirees in Kogi State, published in BMC Geriatrics, 21.8% were lonely, with women (25.5%) more affected than men (18.7%).

Depression in later life is common and often untreated. The Ibadan Study of Ageing, which interviewed 2,152 people aged 65 and over in Yoruba-speaking states, reported in The Lancet in 2007 that 26.2% had experienced major depression at some point in their lives, and only about 37% of them had ever been treated. A follow-up in Psychological Medicine in 2011 found a poor social network was a risk factor for new depression among women.

A 2022 study from the University of Nigeria, Nsukka, interviewed 58 people aged 60 and over in south-east Nigeria whose younger relatives had emigrated. Most supported the move because of economic conditions at home, and the authors called for support that keeps family ties and social contact strong.

What signs of loneliness show on a video call?

Older people rarely say they are lonely, especially to children they do not want to worry. Changes over several weeks matter more than one flat call. Watch for:

• Giving up things they enjoyed, such as a church or mosque group, a market stall or visiting a friend.
• Going out less, or having no news of anyone else when you ask about their week.
• Repeating the same stories within a call or across calls.
• Looking thinner, or clothes that seem looser.
• Poor sleep, dozing through the day or calling at unusual hours.
• A home that looks less cared for: dishes piling up, laundry left, rooms unswept.
• A phone often uncharged or switched off, or calls unanswered for days.

When could it be depression, and when should a doctor be involved?

Loneliness and depression overlap and can feed each other. The NHS advises speaking to a doctor when low mood lasts more than two weeks. Low mood, memory change or weight loss should be assessed by a doctor, because they can also come from physical illness, medicines, hearing loss or early dementia. This page is information, not medical advice.

In Nigeria that may mean their usual hospital or clinic, or a referral to a psychiatrist at a teaching hospital. Some older people see low mood as weakness or a spiritual matter, so it can help to frame the appointment around sleep, appetite or energy. If you believe they are in immediate danger in Lagos, the state's toll-free emergency lines are 767 and 112, run by the Lagos State Command and Control Centre (reported March 2026).

What helps when you live abroad?

In the 2021 Nigerian study, good social engagement predicted who stopped feeling lonely. Calls from abroad help most alongside local company and a daily routine.

• Short, predictable calls at a fixed time, such as 15 minutes every Tuesday and Saturday evening Lagos time. A fixed slot gives them something to expect and makes changes easier to notice.
• Camera on where possible, so they can see your face and you can see how they look and how the home looks.
• Involve them in decisions, from family events to their own money and health, and ask their advice.
• Local company: their faith community, age-mates, old colleagues, neighbours and younger relatives nearby. A neighbour who calls in twice a week counts for more than an occasional long visit.
• Purpose and routine: a regular market trip, a role at church or mosque, grandchildren in the holidays, a garden, or a game of draughts or ludo with a friend.
• Practical fixes: glasses, a hearing check, a charged phone and enough data for calls to work.
• On a Kinship Visit in Lagos, the visit can simply be company, and the report the family receives says how the person seemed.

What should you avoid?

Do not treat money as a substitute for contact. Sending money pays bills, but it does not fill an empty afternoon. Avoid long silences followed by a burst of calls, because a steady rhythm is easier to rely on.

Do not test their memory or correct repeated stories on the call. Note the change and raise it with a doctor. Do not dismiss low mood as old age.

Do not make decisions about them without them, including moving house, live-in help or hospital appointments. Do not rely only on what they tell you; ask a trusted neighbour or relative how they really seem.

Questions people ask

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